Your Immediate Future
by empty gun
Summary: There's nothing like panic to put things in perspective.


"I can't offer you proof," said Spirit. He was lying in a manner Stein thought of as "funeral style", on their couch.

His red hair was a rumpled mess underneath him as he crossed his arms against his chest rigidly and his eyes, though closed, look on the verge of tears. They had that funny crinkle and his lip was down-turned. "I can't offer you proof," he repeated. "But I'm taking her word for it."

"You can't panic," said Stein, somewhat disdainfully, "if you're not one hundred percent certain."

"This is preemptive panic," countered Spirit, his eyes snapping open. His fingers dug into his arms and he avoided Stein's gaze, which was relentless and Stein found this unduly amusing and continued to do so, just to make Spirit uncomfortable. "This is the panic before the panic, you know."

"When is the real panic going to set in?" Stein slid onto the arm of the chair and Spirit finally met his gaze, glaring.

"You ask the worst questions."

"If you didn't want me to be curious, you shouldn't have told me. This is something you've done, Senpai. Which I was pretty certain would happen sooner or later," he added as an afterthought. "I'm mainly just curious at your reaction."

"What's wrong with my reaction?" Spirit sat up, tufts of hair akimbo at the back of his head. "This is a perfectly reasonable reaction!" A fist landed on the back of the couch to signify his seriousness, but to Stein it seemed like a child throwing a tantrum. Spirit threw his face into his palms.

"You seem more angry than surprised."

"Of course I'm angry!" Spirit's voice was muffled and Stein sighed.

"Like I said this is something you've done, so who are you angry with?"

"My- I'm angry with h-- dammit, why are you playing psychologist with me?" Lifting his head and blowing his bangs from his face, he muttered, "No psychologists don't play mind games with people."

Even Stein, who lived in his own seemingly self-centered and strange bubble, understood these things. These things being the basic physiology of human beings. Which Spirit apparently didn't at age 16, because his girlfriend (of this fortnight) claimed to be pregnant. Stein only believed this facetiously, Spirit's ignorance. Spirit's first words when he finally got the courage to tell anyone were, in a trembling voice, "I've been so careful." As far as Stein could see, he'd told no one but Stein, believing him to be a safe bet at this point, the point of almost uncertainty. To be honest, Stein really wasn't interested one way or another, but it was fun to confuse Spirit himself.

Who confused very very easily, especially in states like this.

"This will ruin everything!" Spirit cried, thumping the couch again.

"What's everything?"

"My life," said Spirit, being honest with himself for once. "I'm going to take a bath. If I don't come back in an hour, keep waiting."

"What about two hours?"

"I'm probably dead." Spirit frowned, opened his mouth to say something else and then waved his hand. "Don't laugh at me too much behind my back while I'm gone, okay?"

Stein's face was a blank.

*

Three hours later, Stein knocked on the door.

The bathroom light was still on and sound of a small oscillating fan could be heard inside. If he was planning on electrocuting himself with that, he'd waited about an hour past due. Stein knocked again.

"What?" A splashing noise.

"I've made dinner," said Stein. In truth, he'd made himself soup and recipe fed two people. He wasn't sure if Spirit would still be alive at this point, so he didn't plan ahead too much. In truth, he knew Spirit was a coward about that sort of thing. They could bravely become partners, but the thought of Spirit killing himself was so grossly out of character. In any case, Stein stored Spirit's portion in the fridge to eat later if he was dead. More surprising things had happened.

"I don't want any."

"I'm not going to beg you." Stein thought for a moment. "You're still in the tub, right? How is that even comfortable after this long?"

"Go away, you bastard."

It was a simple question, but Stein raised his eyebrows and left anyway.

Stein's eyesight was becoming blurred by the light of the small desk lamp. The sun had gone down a bit previously and hunched over his books he wasn't in the market for interrupting himself from studying to turn on the light switch. But his back had begun to hurt and his hand was cramping, so he decided to give himself a break and do so. The rest of Spirit's soup might be tasty at this point too. As soon as his hand had flicked the switch, he heard a low, almost moaning cry.

"Steeeeeeein."

Stein had to pass the bathroom to get to the kitchen or he'd otherwise ignore it. It didn't sound like a pained cry, just an annoyed and needy one.

He opened the door quietly and stuck his head in the hall listening for the call again. Perhaps he could walk quietly --

"Steeeeeeein. Come here."

Spirit probably couldn't hear him over the fan and his own misery ringing in his ears, but he added: "I know you're there, I need you."

Stein shuffled into the hallway and leaned against the bathroom door. "What?"

"I need something to eat."

"I ate your soup." Or was about to, but Spirit didn't need to know that.

"Make me a sandwich then ... please."

Stein opened his mouth to flatly say no, but Spirit said, plainly and almost sadly, "Please, Stein. The door is open. Just a cheese sandwich."

Stein rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen, not explaining his own actions to himself.

*

"The door is open?"

"Well," said Spirit from inside, "it's not locked."

Stein held the tray against his chest and balanced it with one hand precariously, opening the door with the other.

The sight was interesting. Spirit was sitting in the bathtub of seemingly cold water, in a pair of boxers, books and magazines stacked next to the tub. One of his legs rested on the side and the other on the facet, his hair held back with a tie and a frown on his face, which melted into a smile in the harsh light of the overhead bathroom light when he saw Stein.

"Just ... just leave it on the toilet..." Spirit stared as Stein set down the tray. On it was two cheese sandwiches with mustard and a glass of milk. "You brought me milk?"

"You can't drink bathwater," Stein replied simply. It was true.

"Thanks," said Spirit, with a strange half-smile. A pruny hand snaked out and grabbed a sandwich and as Stein shut the door behind him he could Spirit say, with a mouthful, "Thanks a lot."

*

The next morning was Saturday and Stein's first thoughts upon awaking were simple thoughts, breakfast and then morbid morbid curiosity about what Spirit had done that night. Truthfully, the second thought was needing to use the bathroom badly and he realized Spirit was camping out in the bath in his ridiculous state of depression. Stein would have to see if he'd fallen asleep in the tub. Which could possibly have drowned him. It would be interesting to see how exactly he'd slept in a tub of cold water, but first, important things like breakfast.

Stein rolled his head on his pillow to look at the clock on his nightstand. 9:05 AM. He'd slept in a little later that he'd wished. After bringing Spirit his meal he'd retired back to his room with a warmed-up bowl of Spirit's soup and a book. Sometime around 10:00 PM, Spirit began to sing, almost drunkenly, some song about being depressed and heartache or something stupid. He stopped singing a little while after and Stein had heard nothing further from him. He imagined he might've fallen asleep at this point, Spirit had.

The floor was cold when Stein stood up on it and he stretched, wondering when Spirit was going to be mature and find out something concrete before falling apart as he had. He suspected he'd wallow a bit.

Perhaps it was time to run him out of the bathroom and use it, as it was a bit unfair of Spirit to hog it in his throes of pity.

Stein picked up his empty soup bowl and walked into the dark hall, the only source of sunlight the living room and he knocked on the door of the bathroom. Knocked again. No reply. Stein went to find cereal.

*

After breakfast, washing both of his dishes, Stein was pretty certain he couldn't hold it anymore and he knocked a little hard on the door. "Senpai," he said sternly. "Senpai." He noticed, though, the door wasn't ajar and Stein pushed it open and was presented with an empty bathtub. A bit disgusting, the glass holding the milk empty and floating in the tub with soggy crusts.

Huh, it seemed Spirit had melted. He hadn't heard a door open, so that was his first thought. Fascinating. He'd collect a sample later and put it in the drawer he'd mentally labeled "Senpai", full of notebooks with data on his experiments on Spirit. Interesting and -- But Stein looked down and hadn't noticed this before, but wet footprints, still very fresh led from the tub to the hallway. The only towel that had been left inside was rumpled and thrown on the floor. Stein went inside and used the bathroom -- very very gratefully -- before following the footsteps which had begun to dry.

So he'd made a quiet escape.

The nearer they got to Spirit's room, the fresher and wetter they were until he looked up and there, in the window, in a pair of wet boxers, his tied hair wet and shivering, was Spirit. He was crouched in the open window with his hands on either side to support himself.

"I can't take it Stein!" he said, and closed his eyes dramatically. "I can't take it anymore. I've been going over all the thoughts and bad things all night and ... do you know what this will do? I'm too young! I was so stupid ... I ..."

"So are you going to jump?" Stein leaned against the door frame.

"... Of course I am!" Spirit looked pained at the implication that he wasn't.

"Right now?"

"Yes!" Spirit opened his eyes and knitted his eyebrows. "And that will be the story of me ... Spirit Albarn, aged 16, ruined early on ..."

Stein sighed. "You've got everything to live for," he said, without much conviction, but Spirit stopped shaking his head and looked at Stein, his expression softer.

Stein thought of all the fortune cookie sayings he'd remember. Almost tonelessly, he recited, " 'It doesn't matter. Who is without a flaw?' ' A scholars ink lasts longer than a martyrs blood.' Err ..." He stopped for a moment and realized Spirit was hanging on his every word. " 'A thrilling time is in your immediate future'!" he said excitedly, excited at having successfully remembered another, but Spirit mistook this display of emotion as something entirely different, which Stein didn't mind, because he climbed, somewhat squelchily, out of the window.

"Is everything going to be okay?" Spirit asked, very honestly. He wiped his nose and lowered himself onto the bed. Stein realized he was crying.

"Who knows?" said Stein, but it wasn't said sarcastically. He just stood rigidly in the doorway and frowned. "But you have to get concrete proof before you can fall apart. Then you can."

He was being serious, but Spirit laughed. It was a welcome sound.

*

Spirit had gone out a few minutes after lunch, to rendezvous with what he called "his lady". His face was grim, but determined. Stein wouldn't argue with having to do dishes again if Spirit wouldn't sulk around here anymore. Whatever the outcome, Spirit would perhaps face it differently than falling apart. His determined face had said that plainly and he'd said that plainly himself. "I gotta be a man."

Stein spent the afternoon studying on the couch and around 3, the shadows began to grow longer from the window and his feet felt cold, but the only blanket was in his bedroom. He'd began to get sleepy, sitting there reading right now, but tests were coming up soon and he wondered if Spirit, so wrapped up in his own world had realized. He'd probably cram a few hours before any tests, true to his style. Whatever. Stein set the book on the coffee table amidst many others and walked to the bedroom.

No sooner had he reached the door, than the front door slammed and a triumphant voice cried out, "Stein! STEIN! She got a test done, she got two tests done, it was a false alarm!" Stein soon appeared in the living room, blanket in hand, to see Spirit dancing wildly in the floor. "She's all right! We're all right! Stein, this is amazing, I have my whole life ahead of me."

Stein smiled slightly and before he could open his mouth Spirit danced over and said, "Let's make a steak for dinner! And peas, you love peas! And ... a cake! We're going to bake a cake to celebrate."

Little did Spirit know that Stein's very off-handed prediction, said in times of almost duress, would come true. 'A thrilling time is in your immediate future.'

Spirit had two years. 


End file.
